


Double Jealously 3.0

by janai



Series: Double Jealousy 3.0 [3]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Swearing, Testosterone (lots of it)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:47:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25853848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janai/pseuds/janai
Summary: The Doctor and The Actor finally meet face to face. Chaos and major levels of testosterone ensues! Will they they accept each other in the end?
Relationships: David & Gwen MacDonald, Metacrisis Tenth Doctor & Rose Tyler
Series: Double Jealousy 3.0 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1875520
Comments: 6
Kudos: 6





	Double Jealously 3.0

**Author's Note:**

> I have to thank Laurie Spitzer for some of the Scottish words/terms that I picked up from her Broadchurch AU series on Tsp. I then found Scotranslate which was a very happy find.  
> As always, pictures found on Google Images.

It was inevitable that the Doctor and The Actor would meet face to face one day. That it would be at the British Television and Movie Awards was a surprise for both. David MacDonald was up for Best Actor in a for his role as The Traveler in the wildly popular Lord of Time series while the Doctor was there to help present the Vitex Lifetime Achievement award (this year going to Scottish actor Thomas Sean Connery). 

How they met, however, was rather abrupt.

The Doctor's thoughts were clearly in another galaxy as he sailed around the corner near the convention halls of the Ritz De Plume, the location of the ceremony. Thus his body slammed into the equally fast-moving man with his thoughts also elsewhere. There was a “Guh” and “Oof” as they collided and both men back pedaled a few steps. As one, they turned their annoyed glare at the other then froze in shock.

 _It’s him,_ _the wanker._ the Doctor thought.

 _It’s him, the bloody git,_ David thought.

They stared at each other as they examined the other; David was wearing his formal family kilt and the Doctor was in his pinstripes, black & white Converse and a black bow tie dotted with red roses.

The Doctor looked down at the actor’s knobby knees and manly, very hairy legs in astonishment then back up to his face. An older face with a silver sprinkled scruff and chestnut hair with a side part. This is how I will look down the road, he thought, _I could do without the jowls and I will never, ever allow my hair to go flat!_

David, in turn, was staring at the crisp, slim cut suit that the Doctor wore thinking that he had been that skinny in his younger days. The Converse caught his attention and he frowned. One thing that really stood out about the Doctor was the preternatural stillness in his stance; _is he even breathing?_

Irritation and annoyance began to show on their faces as they thought about their mutual dislike of the other.

"Oi," the Doctor growled, "you should watch where you’re going, especially around a blind corner!"

"What?!" David growled back, “the same could be said of ye!" He glared at the Doctors Chucks in disgust. “Who wears Converse to a bloody formal affair?!”

"I do!" the Doctor growled back. He glanced at the bright red and blue tartan kilt and laced soft shoes. “And who wears a skirt, hand bag and slippers to said type of event!" he shot back. "Though the purse is nice, looove the tooling.” He grinned knowing that he was winding up the actor to new heights.

<p>"Oi," David replied, automatically looking down, "'tis a kilt, also known as a feileadh,” he jabbed a finger to point at the tooled leather pouch, “and this is a sporran, not a bloody handbag! The shoes are called ghillie brogues and they are nae' slippers."

A few passersby were stopping to watch the heated words between the near identical twins; both men turned and glared at the gathering and the people quickly moved away. The Doctor saw a small glass enclosed siting room not far down the hall. He reached out to grab the actor’s jacket sleeve and tugged him towards the room. Once there, David growled as he moved away from his twin.

"Oi, hands off me!” David batted his hand away and smoothed the wrinkle left on the sleeve of his Bonny Prince Charley jacket. "Who do ya’ think ye are grabbin' me like that!" David spat.

"I'm the Doctor!” The Doctor replied with a superior and arrogant tone of voice; he crossed his arms over his chest defiantly.

David's jaw dropped open then he tilted his head back and started laughing hysterically. He saw a pink tinge to the Doctors cheeks and somehow managed to laugh even harder. The angry Time Lord Meta-Crisis glared over the highly amused actors' shoulder and saw more people gathering nearby. _Bloody tourists_ , he thought with annoyance.

With a growl, he pulled his sonic screwdriver out with a flourish, adjusted the setting, and aimed it at the door to the room. With a flash of blue light and loud buzzing, the door slammed shut and locked. David looked up in surprise at the noise and saw the silver device in the Doctor's hand.

The Doctor saw the expression of surprise on the actor's face as the man stared at his sonic. A smug expression crossed his face as he held it up.

"Sonic screwdriver, the true multi-purpose tool of a real 'Lord of Time’ (he said the last with a mocking tone). What is that thing you have on your programme? Laser pen? I bet the prop is in your 'handbag', I know you like to carry it about for photo ops."

"It's not a bloody handbag ya’ wanker!" 

He reached down to release the clasp and pulled his laser pen out with a flourish. Deep down he felt a bit silly but the arrogance of his opponent was getting out of hand. He pressed a button and the tip lit up with a bright yellow glow and it made a low buzzing sound.

"Cute," the Doctor smirked as he adjusted the setting of his sonic and aimed it at the actor’s waist. With a buzz, the chain holding the actor's sporran unhooked and the pouch slipped down his hips and to the floor with a soft thud.

David's eyes blew wide open as he looked at his sporran on the floor; he looked back to the grinning Doctor and then down to scoop it up. With practiced ease, he adjusted it around his slender hips and made sure it was securely attached.

''Must'a not had it secured proper," he muttered, looking up.

With a nasty smirk, the Doctor aimed at David's waist again and activated the screwdriver; once more, the sporran slipped down to the floor. The actor's eyes were wide again at this repeat performance 

"Bollocks!' he cried as he angrily scooped up the sporran and clutched it in the hand not holding the prop pen. He stared at the device in the Doctor's hand. "Will ye stop that, ya bloody Eejit?!"

The Doctor flipped the sonic up in the air and neatly caught it without looking.

"Don't ask, you wouldn't understand the science." With that verbal shot, the Doctor slipped it in into the hidden pocket on the inside of his suit jacket on the left side. He happily bounced on the balls of his feet as he enjoyed the bewildered look on David’s face.

David's poor brain was turning over the events of the last few minutes in total disbelief. His mind suddenly pounced on the word 'science' and relief crossed his face. He pointed a long, index finger at the Doctor and giggled.

"All right then, you're a scientist and this is some little invention that ya came up with. Like a car fob that automatically opens the door when ye get close. See? I'm not an bleedin' dumb heid!" He smirked as he saw the look of disbelief on the Doctors face.

"Seriously?" the Doctor muttered, "you think its a car door opener?" he spat out as he ran his hands through his hair. "Humans! You lot are always trying to come up with a rational explication for when you don't understand something." The Doctor leaned in to look directly into David's eye with a touch of Oncoming Storm in his glare.

David backed up two paces at the ancient and dangerous look into his twin’s eyes. He stiffened when he saw tiny sparks of golden light in the brown of the iris's and a chill tingled up his spine. _Who is this guy?_

"Who are ye!" he muttered as he backed towards the closed door of the sitting room. The Doctor suddenly gave him a cheeky grin and the storm in his eyes dissipated.

"I told you, l’m the Doctor. Not the original of course, but more complicated. And unique, not another one like me in the multiverses!" He preened and looked very pleased with himself.

David’s back bumped into the door and he reached his hand around to turn the knob. It was locked! How did that happen? That actor looked at the Doctor, eyes wide. Again.

"Fan-bloody-tastic, you're a nutter, that’s what ye are." He turned around to look for the lock by the doorknob and jiggled it almost frantically. It would not budge and then he remembered when the door had slammed shut earlier.

The Doctor finally took pity on the obviously unhinged actor twisting the door handle in desperation. However, he waited to the exact moment the handle was in the 'open' mode to unlock the door with his sonic. The door opened suddenly and the actor flew backwards to land on his bum to the amusement of the Doctor. Somehow the kilt hem flipped up giving the part-Time Lord a glimpse of David’s very manly bits. _Yep, looks just like me._ Then a look of mild disgust replaced the amusement on his face. _Oh, I did not need to see that_ , he thought with a shudder.

<p> David glanced up, seeing the direction of the Doctors gaze, looked down in horror, and quickly flipped the kilt down to cover himself. He turned a rich shade of pink as he did so. With a heavy sigh, the Doctor leaned over to offer his hand to the distressed looking actor. 

David glared at the proffered hand and heaved a big sigh as well. He reached up to take it and the Doctor pulled him up to his feet. They eyed each other warily until David glanced away with a shiver; the depths of the Doctors eyes were that of an ancient and superior being.

"What urr ye really?" David whispered as he carefully looked back at the doppelganger before him. He watched as the ancient look in the Doctor's eye faded away. A brief look of annoyance crossed the Doctor's face before he tugged at his left ear.

"I told you, the Doctor." The Doctor rolled his eyes in exasperation. "We are really going nowhere very fast."

"Aye, we are." David conceded as he smoothed his attire and adjusted the location of the sporran. He glanced up at the Doctor as he held the much-abused pouch tightly in his hands. 

"Ye aren't gonna point that thing at me again and make it fall off." The Doctor smirked, flipped the screwdriver into the air again, deftly caught it and tucked it into the pocket inside his jacked. Thus reassured, the actor settled the sporran so that it was in its proper place.

The Doctor tucked his hands into the pockets of his trousers and gave the actor a thoughtful look. He decided that it was time for the great unveiling.

"Come with me and I will show you who I am." 

His expression was neutral, and his tone had an entreating quality. David looked at the Doctor's expression, checked his watch, and looked back up. 

"Alright. Thank goodness I like to get to these galas early." He watched as the Doctor’s face split into a big grin then followed the part-alien out the door.

The Doctor led the way to the elevators and pressed the Down button; he bounced on the balls of his feet while David glanced around nervously. A moment later it arrived and the walked in; the Doctor pushed the Basement button and they settled in for the short ride. 

Once they arrived, the Doctor took them down several hallways until the actor realized that he would be totally lost. Apprehension washed through him as he began to fear the worst about the Doctors intentions. 

Finally, they stopped at the end of a darkened hallway and the Doctor pulled out his sonic. He aimed it slightly towards the wall and there was a whirring noise. The perception filter disappeared to reveal the TARDIS sitting there in all her glory; humming slightly.

The Doctor turned to look at his companion and saw the look of surprise on his face. The actors jaw opened and shut a couple times as he tried to comprehend what he had just seen.

"An old police box...appears outta' nowhere...impossible," he murmured somewhat fearful. His wide eyes looked at the Doctor's in disbelief, "How did it do that?"

"Magic," the Doctor said proudly as he raised his hand to snap his fingers. The TARDIS doors opened and a yellow glow from the inside illuminated the side of the Doctors face. David had stumbled backwards a few steps.

"It's okay," the Doctor said in a soothing yet proud voice, "she’s my TARDIS, my time ship as you refer to yours. Means Time and Relative Dimensions in Space." He took a step closer to the open doors and beckoned the gobsmacked actor to go inside. "Don' t worry, you'll be safe." David stared at him a full tense minute before curiosity began to override the fear in his heart.

The Doctor backed through the doors then turned to climb up two steps to the main level. He turned around and was slightly back-lit with yellow, orange and blue light. Like a deer stepping cautiously into an open meadow, the actor carefully entered the ship. He took one look around at the large room and domed ceiling and quickly ducked back outside.

"No. No, no, nononono! Impossible." He did not see the Doctor smiling at him with amusement. David first looked around one corner of the ship then the other; how could this be? His mind was racing a kilometre a minute until he noticed the wall. _Aha_!

"The box opens through the wall into another room!" he crowed triumphantly at the Doctor. He was thoroughly pleased with himself that he had figured the trick to the bigger on the inside blue box. 

The Doctor shook his smile with a grin and looked down at the console of the TARDIS. He entered a few coordinates and called out at the top of his voice.

"Stand back and don't run away!" 

Of course, David stood there until he heard a deep thud followed by a whirring, wheezing sound.

As the TARDIS began to fade in and out, he backpedaled away as fast as he could. Mouth open, eyes wide and throat dry, he saw the impossible as the blue box disappeared for a few seconds then began to reappear in the middle of the hallway. The actor felt his knees start to shake as the TARDIS solidified with another thud and stood exactly 12 inches from the smooth wall. 

The doors flew open and the Doctor leaped out of his ship with a look of delight. He wasn't surprised to see David, hands wrapped around the waist and eyes blown impossibly wide, cowering in place. The actor raised a trembling hand to point a shaky index finger at the TARDIS.

“lt's...it...moved," he said in a small voice, "it bloody faded away and came back. Away from tha' wall. How?" He turned beseeching eyes towards the mystery man standing in front of him.

"Yeah, she does that from time to time. Come inside and I will explain a few things to you." The Doctor stood calmly with what he hoped looked like a reassuring expression on his face.

It was at that moment that David realized that he was in the presence of a being who most likely had not been born on Earth. But why did he look like a younger version of himself? It was so uncanny! 

He swallowed several times before he crept to the open doorway to peer inside. It was a large room with a domed ceiling and a lot of round lights around the organic looking walls. He turned to look at the grinning whatever-he-was and pointed inside.

"Bigger on the .... inside..." his voice quavered.

"Yup!" The Doctor chirped then he lowered his voice. _This never gets old,_ he thought to himself as he moved forward to gently push David through the doors. "Amazing how that can happen!" He walked around the actor to dash up the stairs and stand by the hexagon shaped control console.

As David timidly crept up the stairs to the main platform, the Doctor drew himself up to his full height. 

"I am the Doctor," he said proudly, "John Smith is my, well, stage name. I am a half-human Time Lord from the planet of Gallifrey. As you may have guessed, I do not come from this planet or even from this universe. Neither does Rose. We were...left here a year ago by my, erm, evil twin brother." 

David was giving him the deer in the headlights look as he tried to comprehend what the Doctor was saying. He did catch one word that bothered him.

"Twin? Ya mean there's another one out there that looks like...us?"

"Quite right," the Doctor rubbed the back of his neck, "and he's a right pain in the arse. Very long story, no time for that now. So, parallel worlds often have the same people from one reality to another. Most of the time. Rose doesn't have a twin here, however, her parents named their dog Rose." 

He rolled his eyes then realized he was starting to go off on a tangent. Rubbing the back of his neck, he peered over at David with a wry grin.

"Ya mean, you're really my twin?" David asked feeling like he had fallen down the rabbit hole.

"Weeeell, rather you're my twin, I should think." 

The Doctor looked at the actor who started to bristle again. He had distracted the human from his fear which is exactly what he wanted. He raised one hand to forestall whatever the actor was going to say. 

"Doesn't matter, that. What matters is that I am over 900 year's old and travel through time and space. That was how I met Rose in the other, original universe that we came from. Another long story we do not have the time for." He looked over at his human twin, rubbed his hands together and chirped excitedly.

“Right ! How about a quick trip, really short one, just to show you that I am who I say I am!" He began to race around the console pressing tabs here and flipping another switch there. He did not even give the actor a choice as he looked over and yelled out, "Hang on!" David did not move. 

"No really, hang on." the Doctor admonished as he released the parking brake.

At the sound of the dull thud, David ran to the nearest coral strut and tightly wrapped his arms around it. He watched the glowing blue rotor rise and fall and heard the whirring groaning sound. The ship shuddered slightly and he tightened his grip. For him it seemed like forever before the TARDIS settled down with a thud..

"We're here!" the Doctor crowed as he flew past the actor, still clinging to the strut, and swung open the doors. "C'mon, you don't want to miss this," he urged.

David reluctantly let go of the strut to join the Doctor at the door. He looked out at a mob scene, camera's flashing and a row of limos lined up on the opposite of the street. He watched as a tall, lanky man appeared on the other side of a silver limo followed by his petite, ginger haired companion. His jaw dropped as he watched the all too familiar scene that he had been a part of an hour ago.

"Ooh...," he moaned as he slumped against the door, knees shaking again. “That’s me, right?" The Doctor nodded once thinking that his guest might pass out at any moment. 

"Time to go," The Doctor murmured. 

He tugged lightly on David’s jacket and pulled him all the way back into the TARDIS; a moment later and they were took off for the very short trip back to the hallway. He heard his ship humming with reassurance but doubted that the stunned actor even sensed the comforting sound.

David was still staring at the closed doors of the ship in silence, his poor human brain struggling to comprehend what had just taken place. It was real, not some special effect or working prop. He really had shifted out of the hotel and back in the blink of an eye. He turned to look up the Doctor with a new expression on his face and knew that his comprehension of the universe was forever changed. 

"Wellll 8," he murmured, "ye ken howfur tae shaw someone a guid time." He glanced at his watch and looked back at his incredible host. "Best git, shows aboot to start." 

The Doctor nodded and snapped his fingers; the TARDIS doors opened and the thespian slowly walked out into the hallway. He glanced back at the Doctor who was walking his way, hands dug into his trousers pockets. 

"Ahem!" 

David whirled around to see his wife standing with Rose Tyler. Both women wore amused expressions and stood linked arm in arm. He heard the Doctor come up to stand next to him. The Meta-Crisis froze in surprise at the sight of the two lovely ladies giving them the eye. 

"So," Rose grinned, "did you boys kiss and make up?" The tip of her tongue peeked out of the corner of her mouth and both men swallowed simultaneously, their twin Adam's apples bobbing. 

"I think they must have." Gwen took in the sight with a smile as she watched her husband and the Doctor glance at each other. 

"Well," David said in a dignified voice, "we have, erm, reached an agreement, ah think." 

"I think we did," the Doctor agreed as both women started to giggle. He looked at the mischievous expression on his wife's face as David looked at Gwen's 'I told ya so' look.' The two women happily gave each other a hug as David glanced at his watch again. 

"Right, he mumbled, "look at tha time. We'd best dash!" He looked over at the Time Lord who was also ready to escape from their current situation. "After the lovely ladies," David waved. 

Both 'lovely ladies' turned, arms still linked, and started laughing as only females could when their males were whipped. The Doctor and David shared another glance, each knowing they would never hear the end of it. 

"Right," they said together as they followed their women to the awards ceremony.

Epilogue: 

"The Lord of Time" received Best New Television Series and David took Best Actor for his role as the time traveler. When the next season opened, audiences were treated to all new special effects and aliens. In the first episode, the Lord found a chameleon device which allowed his vessel to appear in different guises based on the type of planet they landed on. The ship changed into a blue police box once, when the traveler and his companions landed on Earth in 1963. 

Fin

**Author's Note:**

> This is the final entry for my Double Jealousy 3.0 series. I hope you enjoyed it as much I did writing it. :>)  
> Coming soon: Journey's Beginning, the next episode in The Meta-Crisis Victorious Saga.


End file.
